I can’t express how grateful I am to be living in Mexico.​
​
​Although I am not from Mexico, being here has brought me a more profound understanding of who I am and what cultural values are important to me, both African and Indigenous to the Americas.

I recently spent two months in the mountains of Chiapas. Honestly, I haven’t been able to put into words what happened there until now.

I basically received a complete re-education and a new way to walk in the world.

​
But how did I end up there? ​
​

In February I had COVID symptoms, and my herbal and environmentalist teacher Nydia in Guanajuato sent me a manual of plant medicine from the school Nichim Ot’anil in San Cristobal de las Casas, Chiapas. It was in a moment of illness and exhaustion that I made the choice to get well using the manual. I prepared and drank herbal teas daily, I rested and I also talked to my spirit/essence about what we needed most in this life. At the end of two months of intentional care, I made my way to learn with Lucia Perez, Director and Teacher of Nichim Ot’anil, a school for traditional medicine.
​
It had been a long time since I had trusted my subtle intuition, you know the one that is more likely to help you connect the daily dots. Even though I had never lived in Chiapas, I felt like I needed to be there. As summer was arriving in the Northeast, I decided to prepare to take this class, slow down with work and enter the cold, rainy season of Chiapas.

It was then that I had a total and necessary breakdown.

I got sick.. with not one but two parasites. The local doctors caught the first parasite. Unfortunately, they had not run complete tests and missed the second one. I had already taken antibiotics once. The doctor’s solution was that I take another seven days of antibiotics. I thought that was unreasonable for my body to endure because it would kill all the flora in my intestinal wall twice, AND there was no assurance that the parasite would be gone. I thanked the doctor and decided to consult my herbal teacher, Lucia. After all, I was in class studying plant medicine and the human body.
​

But let’s be honest. This isn’t about the parasites. ​
​

I was already sick. I already had stomach and emotional issues related to accepting the world as it is. In the last three years, I often felt discomfort or swelling near my abdomen especially after eating. Before I moved to Mexico my doctor had diagnosed me with some early forms of digestive issues that seemed to make me a possible candidate for more medication. This was triggering, of course, because as a child I was diagnosed with some respiratory issues that often prevented me from running or hiking with ease. Doctors tried to convince my mom to use experimental drugs on me for asthma. My mom knew in her gut that I didn’t have asthma.

In this instance, my intuition told me to speak to my teacher instead of taking more antibiotics.

Fast forward to Chiapas, those nasty parasites, and my traditional herbal medicine class. It was in the second week of class that Maestra Lucia clarified to all of us that we are all sick with our emotions. We all have swallowed emotions and some of those emotions were not able to be processed by our organs. Some of our emotions are ancestral, trauma-related, genetic, or belong to us exclusively in this life.

And as you already know, the moment we have been living and surviving in is untenable and the condition of our bodies is the proof. When we are repetitively rejected and displaced by our society, our organs are unable to process the deep emotions without support. Our heart, mind and spirit need support and maintenance even when we “don’t look sick.” So, if you have a presenting illness or discomfort, it may be a warning sign of a larger set of underlying issues regarding how you relate to and care for your body.
​

We have to take back control of our health and wellbeing. ​
​

Before I had seen my teacher, she encouraged me to put what I was learning in class to practice. Under her guidance and the support of another energy therapist, I began writing and processing all the emotions that were coming up related to my digestive issues. I had three private sessions with Maestra Lucia involving a special massage and wrapping of my stomach with plants. I continue to take my herbs and teas every day. And it is likely I’ll be in this herbal protocol for three to four more months followed by a lifetime of maintenance to resolve the deepest issues.
​

Why am I telling you all of this?

​
I learned three things during this very intense two month re-education period.
​

Trust your intuition enough to act on it.

I could have talked myself out of slowing down and not working so much. Instead, I decided that my health and understanding of how my body works were more important than anything or anyone. We are all sick because we are all swallowing unprocessed emotions tied to judgment of ourselves or others. The colon is our place of unprocessed rage and anger. This has grown my empathy for others in ways I did not know to be possible. It has also brought me a level of inner peace I was unfamiliar with.
​

How do I know I am getting better?

I now understand how beliefs come from practice not myth. I recently had to come to the U.S. for work. For various reasons, I found myself running for a flight. As I sprinted down the hallways of the Mexico City airport to make my flight, I suddenly realized I was breathing easily. I felt shocked at that moment, and I cried deeply on the plane. I am coming home to my body and my love of dancing, hiking, and running. My body is the one vehicle that I need to care for absolutely. No one can do it for me, know how I hold my emotions in the body or even how my ancestors lived. Only I can care for my health, find the right support systems and see the results through my own practice.
​

I finally let my heart take control of the wheel that is my life.

I realize that my mind has driven my life for too long, mostly filled with other people’s expectations of me. My health and wellbeing come before all things, especially work. I focus on organizing my life around my new health protocols instead of squeezing them in. I am also focused deeply on rest and downtime which looks like laying in a hammock, taking a walk in nature, and resting from the thousands of cuts my ancestors and I have received. I now deeply understand that without my health, I will not be able to discern what is for me and what needs to be attended to by others.

If this resonated with you, please share this with some friends and talk to each other about how to take more ownership of your respective health, share resources and cheer each other on. It's a long walk but we can do it together.

---

After spending time this with herbalists and healers in Mexico, doing my own inner work, and looking at the overall mission of reaching more women, I've been called to slow down and listen to what I'm being called to do for the next season of Wild Dreams. I look forward to sharing the new direction of the program very soon.

​
​